A monster I couldn't see chased me
getting closer and closer and I couldn't run.
When I tried to scream for help
only a soft hissing air escaped my throat
and I'd wake up gasping,
heart pounding,
alone in the darkness.
Fear feels so big,
so powerful,
so overwhelming.
When I'm stuck in fearful thinking,
I freeze.
My heart pounds.
My stomach clenches.
I gasp for air.
I shrink into myself,
deep beneath the layers of fat and muscle,
blood and bone,
trying to hide and get away at the same time.
Tiny-Me can only take tiny steps.
Ten steps later I've barely moved an inch
and progress seems impossible.
When I hold my son in my arms
with my lips resting in his hair
calling on that deep, endless well of unconditional love,
that love feels so big,
so powerful,
so overwhelming
it heals me,
it bonds me
to my son,
to all whom I love
and all who love me.
Love reminds me that I am never alone.
I do have a voice.
I can move forward.
When I fill myself with love,
fully present
in body,
heart,
mind,
and spirit,
love leaves no space for fear.
Love illuminates the answers
that are already inside me.
Love empowers me
to make that change,
to step out of my nightmares
and into my dreams.